Why isn't my Wi-Fi working?
- So they can put Wi-Fi on the moon, but they can't stop it from dropping out in my home?!
- Yeah no, I DID turn it off and on. I DID.
- Oh come on, I'M TRYING TO CATCH UP ON "SABRINA" HERE
If you're reading this from the 21st Century, odds are that your goodly establishment has already been decked out with some of this "Wi-Fi" that all the kids are caterwauling about. More so, you likely rely on this Wi-Fi for everything from online procurements to the binge-streaming. I therefore deduce that you prefer this Wi-Fi to be functioning at its optimal level. But, as you have clicked upon this very article and are reading/skimming/skipping this very introduction, may I also deduce that your Wi-Fi is not currently all it can be? I can? Splendid! OK, I'm going to stop talking like this now.
So... why isn't your Wi-Fi working? The answer is likely very simple and fairly easy to remedy. Though it may, of course, be your service, there are a few common culprits you may want to look into first.
Here are 7 of the biggest offenders...
1. HD TV
The HD TV is blocking my Wi-FI? But I use the Wi-Fi to stream the shows that I watch on that very same TV! Why dost thou mock me, o cruel Irony?
If you have a High Definition TV that's hooked up to the 'net, it's going to require a good speed and a steady signal from your Wi-FI, and it's that constant neediness that may be wreaking havoc on all the other things in your house that rely on the internet.
You may want to try using an ethernet cable connection. Alternatively, you can try and centre your router/modem smack-bang in the middle of your home so that all of your online appliances get an equal slice of the Wi-Fi pie (mmmm, Wi-Fi Pie). Think of it as tech-based feng sui.
Though it's easy to think of the internet as unearthly energy that can phase through anything, like Kitty Pryde of the X-Men, it's in actual fact a signal that can be easily blocked by certain objects - like Magneto's helmet blocking Professor Xavier's telepathy NO, SHUT UP, YOU'RE THE NERD, LEAVE ME ALONE, NERD.
Thick walls will more than likely diminish your Wi-Fi signal, especially if they're packing anything dense such as concrete, stone or water pipes. And I've got bad news for all you little pigs out there - though your brick walls are keeping out those big bad wolves, they may also be keeping out your precious little Wi-Fis.
3. CHRISTMAS TREES
Most modern internet experts now theorise that Wi-Fi is actually a cold-hearted miser who despises Christmas; a joyless tyrant who will be mean to the poor and will, without fail, expect you to work Christmas Day. That said, there are many more knowledgable (and far more non-fictional) experts who suggest that your Wi-Fi is simply being disrupted by the lights of your Christmas Tree.
Because fairy lights are a big ol' tangled mess of electrical wiring, they generate a sizeable electromagnetic field (I am actively resisting the urge to make another easy X-Men reference right now), and those electrically charged particles can easily interfere with your Wi-Fi network's radio waves. So you may need to switch those Chrissy lights off for a bit, at least until your Wi-Fi's heart has grown three sizes bigger. It's like, hurry up and learn the true meaning of the season, Wi-Fi.
Like most of us, sometimes your W-iFi is feeling self-conscious, and a mere glance in the mirror can make it feel like its got a big dumb face and send it into a retreat. Nah, just kidding. It's 'cause underneath all that shiny reflective glass your typical mirror is hiding a thick layer of metal. Not unlike a sturdy wall, that layer of metal can also easily block your signal. Though it's far more likely that your Wi-Fi is avoiding the mirror because IT'S A VAMPIRE AND IT DOESN'T WANT YOU TO FIND OUT.
5. FISH TANKS
Wi-Fi networks use radio waves, and water absorbs radio waves quicker than my big dumb face absorbs cheese. Ergo, it's not the fish themselves that are the problem, but the body of water. So that's bad news for all your survivalists who are hoarding water in your living rooms in preparation for a big E.M.P. attack.
6. E.M.P ATTACKS
Look, if I'm being realistic, it's probably not an E.M.P. attack that's disrupting your Wi-Fi right now. But just in case it is, you can learn more about that here.
Ultimately, your shoddy Wi-Fi may simply be because you're not on the best plan for your area. But you can click through here to compare home Wi-Fi broadband plans, free of charge.
Did we miss anything?? Drop a comment and let us know!